Update from Kia
On the value of “fly-by praise”
Hello,
One of my favourite anecdotes comes from investor Anjula Acharia. About 15 years ago, she was mentoring a young entrepreneur who had an idea for a company. The entrepreneur was nervous about going all in and Anjula made what she thought was a throwaway remark. As I remember it, she said that the idea was strong, but that she was unlikely to invest in someone who kept their full-time job, the logic being why would I believe in you if you don’t believe in yourself?
Shortly thereafter, the young entrepreneur quit her day job to focus on her idea. That entrepreneur was Payal Kadakia and her idea was ClassPass, the billion-dollar fitness company.
I was reminded of that story by a recent podcast. In it, the journalist Jon Ronson recalls: “I started writing for the college magazine, McGarroll. My lecturer said, You're the only person who writes for McGarroll who knows how to write. I've never forgotten that. It was the first real moment of affirmation that I ever had.” Ronson went on to become a New York Times bestselling author and have his work turned into a movie starring George Clooney.
These moments of “fly-by praise” or support can clearly have a major impact. They may be shared in passing, but can end up changing someone’s life. I can recall three such moments in my own life – one from my primary school teacher, one from a secondary school teacher and one from a literary agent (who rejected me but did so graciously). All three helped me become an author.
In March, I visited my niece’s school to give a talk about being an author, the aim being to inspire one or two of the pupils to pursue a career in writing. These efforts work to an extent I’m sure, but I think fly-by praise given to a specific person at a specific moment can have a stronger impact.
I’m going to try to give more fly-by praise this year. It works best when offered authentically, of course, but there have been many moments when I’ve thought something complimentary about someone but not told them for whatever reason (the subject was changed, we were interrupted, I didn’t know them that well and so on). I don’t think anyone will ever make a billion dollars off my fly-by praise, but maybe it will lend them succour on a long and difficult journey, like that agent did for me. Sometimes, that’s all we need to keep going.
Until next time.
Kia x
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